Dear Christian struggling with anxiety and depression,
You’re not alone.
I know what it feels like to struggle.
I know what it is like to feel the pressure in your chest, not be able to breathe, and shake to the point you can barely hold on to a glass. I know what it’s like to have your head spin like a top and your mind whirl to the point that you can’t seem to formulate a single thought.
I know what it feels like to have a bone deep exhaustion you can’t shake no matter how much rest you get.
I also know how the enemy can use this against you. The condemnation you feel because we are told not to be depressed. Not to be anxious for anything. Not to worry.
Oh trust me my dear brothers and sisters, I know.
I have struggled with this for 20 years and I love the Lord with all my heart. Jesus is my all in all. My everything. But I still struggle. The good news is that we aren’t the only ones and we are told God’s grace is sufficient.
Ahhhhhh that precious grace!!!
In the 12th chapter of 2nd Corinthians, we read about Paul’s thorn in the flesh. All we are really told about this is that it was a messenger of Satan and that God’s grace is sufficient. My anxiety and depression is a thorn in my flesh. God’s grace is sufficient for me too. It’s also sufficient for you too!!! And like Paul, it’s in our weakness that we are made strong. I know it doesn’t feel that way but it’s true.
Some days the truth of God’s word seems like anything but the truth. Some days grace feels like a lie. I get it. I really do. If you’ve never felt this way, drop to your knees and Thank God because you are a rare breed.
But the truth IS the truth. God’s grace IS sufficient. Christ IS our strength. He IS our ever present help in time of need. He IS our strong tower. He IS refuge. And no matter how alone we feel, He really WON’T EVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE US.
Some days I really have to think of God as my Father and myself as a child and just spiritually curl up in His lap and rest. I really go to the Father as a child because I feel as weak as one.
I have my own business. I make hand painted signs. Some days I shake to the point I can’t even hold a paint brush. Some days I am so exhausted I can barely move. A bone deep, aching exhaustion but my Father promised to work all things together for the good of those of us that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I don’t know always understand it but that’s ok because I totally believe it.
B and I were driving home this morning and I got to thinking about the 1st Christmas I spent in this house. Underneath my tree was a present. A bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. The following New Year, that bottle of Jameson was drank and I thought about the person I was then. I will not divulge all the sordid details. My Mammaw may read this and I don’t need her to have a heart attack. Just believe me when I say that recalling that season of my life showed me just how gracious God really is and how He really won’t leave us. Trust me, He would have been justified in turning His back on me then. Oh I get sick thinking about the person I was then. Gaagggggggg. But then I think about just how far He has brought me and that if His grace was sufficient for me while I was that hot mess, it’s definitely sufficient now.